What Happens in Therapy? A Guide for Parents and Teenagers
If you've never been to therapy before, it's normal to wonder what happens once you walk through the door. Many parents wonder whether they'll be involved, while teens often worry about whether they'll be expected to talk about things they're not ready to discuss.
When a minor is the client attending therapy, guardian-informed consent is required. During the first few minutes, I'll meet with both the parent and teen to review confidentiality, answer questions, and discuss the logistics that help therapy get off to a good start. This is a time for parents and teens (or the adult client, if they are 18 years of age or older) to ask questions about the process and, if they are comfortable, to consent to therapy. Then, the parent will be asked to wait in the waiting room, and the client and I will spend the remainder of the session reviewing background information and discussing the client's therapeutic goals.
Therapy for minors can be tricky to navigate when it comes to confidentiality, as teens are often hesitant to share when they believe the therapist will tell their parents everything they say. Fortunately, there are guidelines regarding confidentiality, and my role as a therapist is to support my client in discovering and working through their thoughts and emotions to the point where they can comfortably sit with them and share what is necessary with those around them. There are some serious situations in which I am legally obligated to break confidentiality to keep someone safe, but I strive to do this in collaboration with the parent and the teen, so there are no surprises.
I strongly believe in healthy communication systems within families, but they are not built overnight. As emotions are processed and understood, effective communication grows. Teenagers need time to understand how their bodies, thoughts, and feelings are changing as they progress through adolescence, and to navigate the many social, familial, and academic situations that arise throughout their teenage years. They need space to make sense of what they are feeling before sharing with others. Once a teen has come to a point where they feel comfortable, I help prepare them to have conversations with their parents about what they are going through - but not until they are ready. I am there to support the teen through that conversation in my office if they choose, or they are welcome to navigate it in the comfort of their own home.
I also encourage parental involvement in therapy, with the teen’s permission. As subjects or situations arise that we believe could be supported by the parent, we will navigate them together as a group. Some teens prefer regular touchpoints with their parents during sessions, while others prefer almost no parental involvement. I strive for a healthy balance in which communication skills are fostered, and the client has the opportunity to grow through their experiences - but, with the exception of the limits to confidentiality, the teen is in control of what gets shared. That sense of control helps build trust, which deepens the therapeutic work that we do.
In the end, teen therapy is a collaborative effort among the teen client, the parent (s), and me. We work together to support the teen in making strides toward the goals they believe will help them navigate the complex world they live in.
Beginning counselling doesn’t mean anyone has failed - it means your family is choosing support. If parents or teens have questions about what therapy may look like in their specific situation, I welcome you to book a free consultation to discuss before your first appointment.
